Gay Merrill Gross

I will remember Gay Merrill Gross for her generous spirit in how warmly she welcomes people. Whenever she is at an origami event, she makes a point of asking new person their name. She then will make sure everyone is introduced to each other. She will remember that person's name. I am in awe of her memory. I learn from her origami teaching methods by how she clearly verbalizes and uses landmarks or shapes and reference points in order to improve my origami teaching skills. When she teaches her designs, she freely shares her personal notes about her designs. Thank you for taking the time to teach and share your wonderful origami designs. I will miss Gay Merrill Gross dearly.

Gay’s books have been a great inspiration to me over the last 30 years and still seem as fresh as ever. I was grateful to have the chance to tell her how much I loved them when we chatted online at Gerardo’s UnFold gathering. It would have been amazing to meet her in person. Rest in peace Gay. You will be greatly missed.

Gay opened the door to the wonderful world of origami for me. Late in my retirement, I was looking for something “creative and artistic” that I could do.. I discovered origami when I read that amazing New Yorker article on Robert Lang. I called OrigamiUSA to see if there was an Origami 101 class available and was referred to Gay for private instruction.

Our sessions were always fun and challenging. Her books were wonderfully written and organized, offering a perfect introduction to newcomers like me. She introduced me to the special class sessions at OrigamiUSA and to the OrigamiUSA convention. I’ve been hooked ever since.

Thank you Gay for your inspired teaching and dedication to the art of origami.

I communicated with Gay for many years and in 2004 I was delighted when she asked me to illustrate one of her books. The relationship was a good one and eventually I worked with her on four titles (Minigami, Origami: The Art of Paper Folding, Napkin Folding and Moneygami). We also met at a few conventions over the years, though all too briefly.

During that time, I developed a deep admiration for her creativity and attention to detail - with every book she requested many minute changes. Initially, I thought some of these were perhaps too fastidious, but I came to realise every change made the diagrams that bit more accurate/helpful and she raised my standards for diagramming going forwards. She was also scrupulous about proper accreditation of the designs. Our relationship throughout was one of mutual respect and friendship. She will be much missed by the origami fraternity.

The world has lost an overwhelmingly kind soul and a huge resource. In my book, she was the go-to person if I ever wanted to know who invented a certain model or where its diagrams appeared. Her knowledge was encyclopedic, and her smile and kindness were infectious. I think everyone in the origami community will miss Gay.

I first met Gay at a number of OUSA Conventions, as others have said a kind soul, excellent teacher and designer of elegant simple models, and someone who always took time to attribute models to their creators.
I had the pleasure of drawings diagrams for a few things for her, before the age of Zoom, Skype and the like. She knew what she wanted but only having email added complexity to the process.
I was really sorry not to have seen her last year at OUSA.

Very sad news indeed. I had the pleasure of meeting Gay a couple of times, and she was the loveliest person. Her gentle approach to origami, and wonderful storytelling was inspirational. I shall get one of her books off my self and fold something in her honour over the next few days. A great loss to the origami community.

Very sad news indeed. I had the pleasure of meeting Gay a couple of times, and she was the loveliest person. Her gentle approach to origami, wonderful teaching and storytelling, were inspirational. I shall get out one of her books and fold something in her honour over the next few days. A great loss to the origami community.

I am deeply saddened by the news of Gay’s passing. She was one of the first people I met at my first NYC convention in1994 . She was so friendly and welcoming. I have many of her books and I love the elegance and wonderful ways she suggested to use her models. Gay was a true inspiration. She will be sorely missed.

I left New York City and the origami orbit surrounding Lillian Oppenheimer in 1979, the same year that Gay entered that orbit, so we just missed each other. Despite not knowing her personally, I knew her by reputation, and years later when I found myself on a visit to New York, I introduced myself to Gay in person, and found a lovely, intelligent, person whose love of origami simply shone. We stayed in touch over the years, and she became a regular and most supportive member of our online Pacific Ocean Paperfolders (POP) community. I will treasure her knowledge, expertise, and most of all, her friendship.

I will miss Gay immensely. She was my first origami teacher after I retired. Her kindness, generosity, and attention to details was inspiring. When my sister who loves cats was treated for cancer, we folded a catbox. With every followup call, meeting, or e mail she always asked how my sister was faring. I always looked forward to her new year’s updates. Just this past week, I was sorting through some of my models and found some of Gay’s instructional demonstration models. She made not so complicated models look special. She was an exceptional teacher and human being. She won’t be forgotten.

Absolutely the most generous, thoughtful, considerate, kind and resilient individual, Gay was also positive and optimistic. As mentioned earlier, Gay was the ultimate connector of people in the origami community. She always made a point of introducing me to people she knew, and Gay knew everyone, and not superficially. Gay, along with Michel Grand, was my go to person to identify a model.
I tried to visit her post-pandemic. Despite her health issues, which she did not allow to keep her down, she always would have a new collection of show and tell to share in the lobby of her apartment.
Gay would have turned 72 today, 22 April. Happy Birthday, Gay. You will always remain in my heart.

Gay is gone, and today would have been her birthday. Seventy-two is far too young to no longer be here. I find myself thinking about all the people who will never get to meet her. How does one explain Gay?

She looked delicate, almost fragile, but her gaze held a quiet intensity. It wasn’t overwhelming—it was the look of someone deeply intelligent. From her frame, you might have expected a high-pitched or girlish voice, but instead, Gay spoke with a calm, thoughtful depth. She was one of those rare people who, with just a few words, could reveal a remarkable sensitivity to the world around her.

She had the poet’s gift: the ability to see something singular in what others might dismiss as ordinary. Her way of making connections—between ideas, people, stories—was entirely her own.

She was also incredibly knowledgeable, but never used what she knew to write complicated material. She had a hawk eye, and it was a privilege to have her as a proofreader for OrigamiUSA's The Paper magazine. With that foundation, she could craft something truly delightful: a story that unfolded like magic in front of a child (her step-by-step Storygami stories were legendary), or an origami model, unexpected and beautiful.

She was a private person—not someone I could say was a close friend—but an origami friend, whom you turn to when you want to learn an origami-related thing.

I remember once she described another paperfolder who had passed away as "a mensch." That word, from Yiddish, can just be used for women, and it fits her perfectly. Gay Merrill Gross was a fine mensch.

I have been thinking about my friendship with Gay, and what a time it has been. I may not know her as long or as deep as a lot of people, and I met her when she was a lot older, but I can imagine her soft voice and her dedication toward origami. She is technically my first origami author that I actively pursued looking for diagrams of. This is what I remembered when I first made my initial foray into OUSA’s reference library.I admire her explanations and how it seems so easy to fold anything. To this day, her book Minigami is one of my favorite origami books.

The New York area folding community can be small and yet so big. This is what it is like in the origami world. Though the world can be big, but the fact that the world can be small. I didn’t expect that the world could expand for me, as I discovered an active folding community with OMG. I am not a great folder, but with Gay I was able to say that I feel comfortable with.

When I met her, she was older. We were able to speak with her about various origami chatter here and there, about various origami books, who folded this and what. She was always curious and interested. She also had a great way of telling stories and folding origami. She even made a song about her initials, GMG - Good morning Gay!

Being in New York City it is easy to be spoiled by the opportunities of folding in social and group settings. It is a memory of seeking her in the hot summer time around the 34th street area, where she folded in public, determined to teach anyone and everyone the joy of paperfolding.

Another memorable memory is during the origami conventions, when I saw her, she was determined to speak about how to fold different models that she would do with a smile.There’s probably more memories that I will probably remember beyond this post. But I know that I will sincerely, sincerely miss her. Rest in peace Gay. -Linda Yau

Gay Merrill Gross was one of my college roommates and a dear friend through the years. She was a sweet and gentle soul with a kind heart and generous spirit… I would add to that a very large dose of patience. She introduced me to the origami side of life. Took me once to meet Lillian Oppenheimer at whose home I saw the most spectacular ultra-miniature origami face portraits on the wall. And she took me once to a Puppetry Guild meeting in Manhattan where I was introduced to (pardon my star-struck name dropping): the actor who played Snuffulupagus on Sesame Street and Ellen Greene who played Audrey in Little Shop of Horrors both on Broadway and in the movie!

Even back home in Boston I once dropped by the office of my old internet carrier where the employees were taking a break and having an origami party! Of course I mentioned my friend Gay… they were starstruck! I understood because some of the art in her books blew me away. “You know Gay Merrill Gross?” they asked in awe…along with a bunch of superlatives, they pretended to bow down to me in good nature… I called her to tell her, and coincidentally it was her birthday which I usually only remembered the month back then… “Ellen,” she said, “you remembered to call me on my birthday!” Which by the way was also Earth Day.

I cherish the little origami birthday cards and trinkets she sent me throughout our friendship. I would also be remiss if I didn’t share with you that she taught me in college the proper way to wash dishes. :-).

In spite of any health struggles, especially in recent years, I admire the resilience and dedication my friend Gay showed, her commitment not only to her craft, but to people, sharing and spreading good will with a smile and a piece of paper.
Rest In peace, dear friend.

I met Gay through her wonderful origami sessions at Greeley Square Park in NYC. She was exceptional, not just in origami but in her approach and perspective to life. Everything she that she exhibited in origami instruction—patience, thoughtfulness, determination, attention to detail, being present, kindness, generosity, follow through, focus, optimism, curiosity, wit, modesty—she lived by the same principles. She shared her origami artistry and talent with anyone fortunate enough to come across her path. What a truly amazing person. I am so grateful to have known her.

Gay Merrill Gross was an origami kindred spirit who welcomed me warmly at my first origami convention in 1994 and continued to be a cherished friend ever since. Her generosity in teaching and sharing her charming, whimsical models touched my heart deeply. I treasure her books and the opportunity I had to feature some of her work on my website, OrigamiSpirit.com
The origami community has lost a brilliant creator and wonderful teacher whose patience and enthusiasm inspired countless folders. Gay's legacy lives on through her designs, her publications, and in the memories of those fortunate enough to have known her. She will always hold a special place in my heart, her spirit forever folded into the art form we both loved so dearly.

I am deeply touched by this sad news. I, and other members of the CDO (Centro Diffusione Origami) were lucky to meet Gay many years ago, here in Italy, and I still keep a vivid memory of her as a charming, kind lady, full of curiosity for any aspect of the origami world, and with a real talent for teaching. Rest in peace.
Roberto Morassi - founder member, C.D.O.

I had the pleasure of meeting Gay at my first NYC convention, many years ago. I was SO excited, because I owned many of her books already and loved her work. She was kind and generous, and gave me permission to teach one of her models the next year. As I started my class—the first time I ever taught for OUSA— I looked up and discovered that she was in the room. Oh my goodness! What if I messed it up or taught it in a different sequence?? I did my best to calm down. Afterwards, Gay remarked that I probably explained her model better than she would have. How incredibly kind was that? Shortly after, she reached out to encourage me to teach at Special Sessions, bringing me into the fold. Over the years, she shared so many of her stories and models. I still turn to her books when I’m teaching beginners, because the models are simple but pretty and practical. We have lost a great friend ♥️.

Gay was one of the first people I had the pleasure to meet when I joined the group that became Origami USA nearly forty years ago. She was a perfectionist in all she did and was able to create great beauty from paper that others would have thrown away. I don’t mean it was beautiful because it was recycled but because it was chosen for some particular characteristics of color and form that created a singular aesthetic for a specific model. She undoubtedly gave much thought to it. She was also very precise and thoughtful about folding from a verbal description of the process rather than from diagrams. In those unimaginable times before the internet increased sharing exponentially, it was called “phone folding.” Now this method is being used in classes
for blind people. She gave so much to our ever expanding origami community.

I thought of Gay Merrill Gross as a dear friend, wise mentor and wonderfully creative soul. I first met her at a OUSA convention about 20 years ago. Gay came over to the table, introduced herself and inquired about an origami model I had used on an ATC. Of course I knew who she was. She had been sitting at the table with “The Cool Kids” people I considered origami royalty. I was awestruck! Gay was so friendly. She inquired about the model and asked me questions about myself and what I liked to fold. For the rest of the convention, Gay made it a point to introduce me to various people every time I saw her. I watched Gay do this with other attendees and was amazed that she could remember all these little details about every single person.

I was not part of Gay’s inner circle of friends. I only saw her about 2 to 4 times a year. We would meet at convention, public folding and Fold and Feed. Gay would ask me how I was and what I had been folding. One time I showed her an idea for a Christmas card with a nativity scene. She immediately recognized the origami models as Joel Stern’s and showed the card around the table. Someone jokingly said “Oh, Joel’s not going to like this” At first I was horrified, thinking that I had made a major origami faux pas, imagining being banished from OUSA. Gay said that she thought Joel would like it. She suggested that I email him. That night after I came home there was a email from Gay (CC me) to Joel Stern.

Gay was the most creative person I ever met. She was so imaginative in the way she saw endless possibilities in the most simple of origami models. A small tweak, an extra fold or combining parts of two models could create something wonderful. She always made it a point to give credit to the original creator and explain the process of how this new model came to be.

Last fall Gay encouraged me to submit a diagram to the FOLD. She helped me with who to contact, how and what to submit. She edited and proofread. It’s something I would have never done by myself.

Recently, Gay had become my mentor. She helped me when I had been selected to teach origami at an after school drop in program for teenagers. She would ask me how each session went. Gay always had kind words, advice and consoled me whenever I thought I was failing.

I am so grateful for your friendship Gay Merrill Gross

from Paul Jackson
If memory serves, I first met Gay in the middle of the night in the late summer of 1980. I was sleeping on Lillian Oppenheimer’s couch in her loft on Union Sq in NYC (it’s a long story) when I was aware of someone dressed in black, creeping silently around in the dark, before taking something and leaving. I was utterly terrified. ‘Oh, that was Gay’, said Lillian, ‘She has a key!’.
We met more formally a day or two later and have been in touch ever since.
Gay knew more great models to teach than perhaps anyone else. She always seemed to know just what to teach in any situation and would teach with great clarity. Her deep knowledge shone through in her 11 books, in which every model would be fun and satisfying to fold, a rare occurrence. For Gay, origami was a folding art, not a folded art. It was to teach, to share and to enjoy.
She was the originator of Storygami, in which a model is folded step-by-step, linked by a story, which is resolved when the final model is revealed. Generously, Gay gave Miri permission to use any of her stories. We have performed them over the years at many festivals, including recently, at a Museum in Jerusalem.
Gay will be sorely missed, but her important legacy will survive.

from Miri Golan
Gay Merrill Gross was an extraordinary artist in the world of origami. She was the "Queen of Storygami", who created a magical world in which stories unfold along with the folding of paper.
On each occasion that we met, with the enthusiasm and gentleness so characteristic of her personality, she shared a new folding story with me. One of the stories that has stayed with me to this day is "The Red Planet". It’s a short and magical story that carries a message that we all need -- especially these days -- about a strange man who lived on a red planet, and ends with a sentence that has been etched in my heart: "He was a really, really strange man, but he had a big heart!"
Gay passed away, leaving behind a legacy of gentle stories, full of hope and optimism. Through her works, she taught us not only the art of paper folding, but also the power of imagination and compassion.

I first met Gay in 1999 when she came to Vancouver, BC Canada for a special origami event that the Japan Foundation in Toronto had asked PALM (Paperfolders Around the Lower Mainland) to co-sponsor. Tomoko Fuse and Fumiaki Kawahata came from Japan too.
Since I was working at the Vancouver Public Library‘s Central Branch in the Children’s Library, we hosted the origami events there.
Gay was a very sweet, gentle and quiet soul but when she started to share her amazing Storigamis with the children, her personality transformed and her enthusiasm as she demonstrated the origami steps with her stories mesmerized the audience and everyone was enchanted by her.
She was not only a talented origami artist who designed incredible and often sweet models, she was also extremely generous in sharing these models and stories because she had a real passion for spreading the love origami to everyone.
Since 1999, we have sent each other annual Christmas greetings and Gay would delightfully share a special model each time.
She also allowed me to share her fascinating storigamis with many of the children who came to the Library. I continue to do this in retirement, volunteering with the children who come to the local National Nikkei Museum and Cultural Centre to learn origami.
I will MISS Gay so much, but I also wanted to thank her for the many years she was a beacon of origami joy in my life!

Yukiko Tosa

I was traveling when i heard this sad news. I still can’t believe it. Like many here have said and expressed so beautifully, my story of knowing Gay is similar. She was probably one of the first few people i met at my first OUSA convention in 1997! Her friendship and desire to connect ppl and her ability to include ppl is so inspirational. For someone new to NYC and origami then, having a friendly guide like Gay was amazing.

I was lucky to be in NYC and to meet and interact with Gay over the years. I was always amazed at her ability to remember everything. She was my go-to as well if i had Qs about a model, how to fold things properly etc. Her analogy while folding a twist fold still remains with me —- make the center square/diamond like a table cloth - small table but a very large table cloth —- this helps rmber to set up the folds as mountains before attempting the twist!

Over the years i was thrilled to fold models from her various books! I have an interest in letterfolds and i once asked Gay if she had a favorite letterfold. Without even a second, she responded yes —- and it is LeVangia’s bar envelope. And then we spent time analyzing what makes it a favorite and how to fold it and how to try rmber the folds. Because it was Gay’s favorite —- it has become a favorite letterfold of mine as well.

In the last several years, many of our visits were in the hospital or in the lobby of her building. What struck me each time meeting Gay and learning from her, was that she was so fully all about origami. Even in the hospital she would come up with stories and models to share with the Drs and nurses. One time she didn’t have origami Kami paper so she asked for regular printing paper and folded stuff out of that. Her love of origami shone so bright that it helped with everything. She was very kind, generous, amazingly smart and creative, thoughtful, always curious and learning, sharing and giving with everyone, —— and much much more. I will miss my friend Gay. 🌼🌸🌺🌿 rest in peace 💖💖💖